


Journal of a Universal Fluke

by PantheraShadow



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: F/M, alchemy gate universal fluke awkward mistake amestris earth torn away kidnapped truth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-04
Updated: 2013-01-04
Packaged: 2017-11-23 16:18:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/624114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PantheraShadow/pseuds/PantheraShadow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I didn't ask to be kidnapped from my world and put into another. I didn't ask to be a universal fluke . Apparently, I don't have a say in this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Journal of a Universal Fluke

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: I am not the Holy Cow, therefore I do not own FMA.   
> I do own my OC. Hope you like her! I love constructive criticism and other comments, so please give me some feedback.

**Chapter One-Universal Fluke**

 

I sighed and leaned back in my chair, staring blankly at the ceiling. The trombones where going over the rhythm in measure 65 _again_. I hated measure 65. I had rests for forty-three measures starting in measure 65.

So much for clarinets playing the most.

I tuned out my band teacher yelling at the trombones and glared at the swirly pattern of dust on the vent on the ceiling. It seemed to be changing. Growing, shifting, swirling. I narrowed my eyes at it, feeling suddenly light. I glanced around; no one else appeared to see what was going on. And they were slowly shrinking...no, getting farther away.

I squeaked, almost dropping my clarinet as I noticed that I was floating. Floating towards... what? I wasn't sure. I looked back up to see what had been the swirl of dust on the vent was growing into a giant vortex.

And no one else was noticing this?

“HELLO!” I screamed, but no one noticed. “HELP! SOMEBODY!” Still, no one looked up from texting, or fingering along, or glaring at the band teacher, Mr. Schwarz. No one seemed to realize that there was a vortex made of ceiling vent dust slowly swallowing me up. And it wasn't just swirling dust now; there were these shadowy tentacle-arm things with tiny hands grabbing at me now. It was really weird, but I managed to think for a little bit. In that quick burst of rationality, I grabbed my backpack and music before I was too far away. “HEY! YOU ALL SUCK!” I roared as the dust-vortex-thing closed around me. Everything went black, then everything was white. I glanced around. I appeared to be standing in an endless white room, with an ominous black door floating in the center. Then, there was a noise behind me. I turned around to see a white figure about my size that looked human, except for its face. I glared at the white figure. I got the feeling it was the figure's fault that I got snatched from my band class by a dust vortex.

“You!” I huffed, because it seemed like something one should say after being abducted. “You brought me here, didn't you?” I heard something drop out of my backpack and looked down. My pencil bag had fallen out. I rolled my eyes and turned away from the white dude to shove it back into my backpack, along with my music, and zip it up. Quickly, I turned back to my kidnapper and pulled on the backpack, still holding my clarinet.

“Yes, I did,” said the figure, with a voice like a thousand different people. I only knew it was the figure who had spoken because apparently, despite having no other distinguishable features, it had a mouth. That, and the fact that there was no one else here.

“Any particular reason why?” I demanded, re-folding my arms.

“You don't belong there.”

I blinked. “Excuse me?”

“You don't belong there.”

Ooookay. That made sense. Not. “Aaaaaand....” I raised one eyebrow. “I belong here instead?”

The white thing smirked. “No.”

“So....”

“So, you're just passing through.”

“Who _are_ you?” I snorted. “Because you kinda seem like a creeper to me. And not the Minecraft kind.”

The thing smirked (grinned?) even wider. “I am Truth. I am the World. I am One. I am All. And I...” it pointed ominously at me. “Am YOU.”

To be honest, I was slightly impressed, but a part of me was slightly frightened. “What, you practice that in front of the mirror every day or something?” I asked, semi-sarcastically. “Kind of seemed rehearsed.”

I couldn't read any expression on the white thing's face as its smile dropped. Then, before I could start to worry, it laughed.

_That_ made me worry a little. I had been confused until then, which kept me from worrying. But now, I was so confused that I had no other choice but to worry. “Um... if it's no trouble, could you please stop laughing?” I asked shakily.

White Thing stopped laughing and straightened up. “It's not rehearsed. I just say it a lot. Now, do you have anything else to say before I send you on?”

“Anything else to say?” I muttered. “ _Anything else to say?_ I have a lot more to ask. First of all, what are you talking about, and what are you doing?!”

White Thing tipped its head to the side for a moment. “There's a problem. You were supposed to be somewhere else.”

“Somewhere besides first period Wind Ensemble?” That was my sarcastic side beating my worry with a rock. Poor worry.

“Somewhere besides where you were.”

“That's not cryptic at all. Care to be a little more specific?”

White Thing nodded. “You were _supposed_ to be born to the Yates, in Central, Amestris. They were _supposed_ to die when you where very young. Then, you were _supposed_ to be adopted by one Madame Christmas. You were _supposed_ to be the youngest foster sister of that family. You were _supposed_ to be raised in a large family in Central. But, every million years or so, there is a fluke that even the universe itself cannot prevent. The Yates died on their honeymoon.”

I was shocked into silence, simply staring at the Truth. That... seemed a little crazy. I guess the Truth _is_ stranger than fiction.

“Of course, these kind of flukes can cause a lot of problems...”

“Problems? Universal flukes cause problems? No!” Sarcasm has now killed Shock with a grenade. Ouch.

“...So I am putting you where you belong before the time-space continuum implodes.”

Even Sarcasm was silenced by that. “One person... can make the time-space continuum implode? But you can wait fourteen years before fixing the fluke?”

White Thing nodded. “There are other flukes that have higher priority. Planets leaving orbit, chickens taking over worlds, people trying to bring other people back to life...”

This was getting weirder and weirder. “Okay, then. But-”

“Oh, we're running out of time,” White Thing interrupted suddenly.

Sarcasm was regaining its spirit. “Running out of time? Aren't you the universe?”

“Considering the circumstances, I can't afford to warp the time-space continuum much more. So, you need to go now. I have to deal with someone who just invented time travel. Since this fluke wasn't your fault, there won't be a toll-”

“Toll?”

“So you don't really need to do anything else.”

“What?” I glared at the thing. “HEY. You brought me here, so I think you need to answer my-”

“Just go,” Truth sighed, pointing behind me. I turned around to see the giant, ominous black doors opening.

“That doesn't look very pleasant...” I muttered.

“It probably won't be. Bye!”

The black tentacle-arm-thingys flew at me from behind the door. “Hey!” I yelped as some of them wrapped around me. “NO!” I hissed. “HAND THINGYS!” I screamed. “NO! STOP!”

It's not like I expected them too, and they did not, in fact, stop. They continued to grab me and then pulled me into the black void behind the door. There was a swirl of white that reminded me of the dust vortex that had grabbed me from first period band class. I was about to have a small self-pity party in the back of my mind, but Sarcasm gate crashed and shot everyone with its assault rifle. _Thanks, bro. I just love being a universal fluke,_ I thought to myself, just before my brain exploded.

I don't think it actually exploded, as in blowing-gray-matter-all-over-the-very-clean-white-room kind of explode, but the math-teacher-just-taught-my-geometry-class-calculus kind of explode. I think this might have been how Irina Spalko felt in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull when all that knowledge was shoved into her brain and she caught fire. It felt like everything I knew was being retaught, and everything I didn't know was being shot at me with a cannon at twenty times the speed of light.

My brain was most _definitely_ exploding. And it was _not_ fun.

Then, as suddenly as it began, it stopped. Everything went black. I noticed a white dot in the distance. It was growing bigger and bigger, until it completely took over the black. The white flashed, then there was a thunk as I landed on the ground.

My mind was rushing a mile a minute, but my body was exhausted. I collapsed on the ground, my clarinet rolling out of my hand. I was laying on my stomach, so at least my backpack wasn't digging into my back. I exhaled in a rush of air and opened my eyes.

The light from the sun was bright, but not as blinding as the white that had flashed behind my eyelids when the vortex thingy ended. There wasn't a cloud in the sky, just clear blue. I glanced around. It seemed like I was in a park or something. I caught a glimpse of a fountain, a few benches, and some little kids running around.

I lay on the ground for a little longer before forcing myself up. Truth was right- that was _not_ pleasant. I reached out and picked up my clarinet again, regarding it for a moment, then unzipping my backpack and placing the instrument inside. I was completely ignoring everything that every band teacher had ever said, ever, but I didn't particularly care. I had just found out that I had to move to a _different world_ because of some universal fluke.

And the weird thing was, I believed it. I'm pretty sure no dream would hurt my head that much, so it wasn't a strange vision or something. I had the strange feeling that I was supposed to be here, actually.

Though, I assumed that didn't mean here, in this park. I'm pretty sure it meant here, in this world, where the sky seemed unusually blue. Then again, after living on the Olympic Peninsula, in the Grey Northwest, any sky is unusually blue.

I took a better look at my surroundings, then started walking in a random direction. I studied the buildings, which looked pretty nice, though not very modern. The looked a lot like the buildings in those historical towns like Snohomish that you could find all over Washington. There was a bakery, a butcher, and a shop with lots of metal contraptions. The sign over it read, “Automail.” Whatever that was, I promised myself to go check it out later.

I mentally slapped myself. I was fairly certain that I wasn't supposed to be this cool about being stolen from my world and shoved into another. Oh, well. I knew my shock would recover soon, and all at once, probably leaving me sobbing in some dark alley.

But hey, while my sarcasm continued to hold dictatorship over every other negative emotion, I might as well enjoy it. I continued to walk aimlessly down the street, on which people and only a few cars traversed. They looked like the antiques I see at the car shows on Main Street, too, which might mean... crap. This was most definitely not allowed. The universe was _not allowed_ to pick me up out of my nice, 21 st century lifestyle and put me a century earlier. My iPhone wouldn't work, which meant no communication and no music. My laptop wouldn't work, and there certainly wouldn't be internet, which meant no Tumblr, dA, YouTube, or any of the other sites I wasted my time on. It meant no more Harry Potter fanfiction. It meant no more movies and TV. No Psych, no Star Wars, no Disney.

I was absolutely, positively, _definitely_ going to die.

Good thing sarcasm was a powerful dictator, because if it weren't, I'd probably collapse in the street and cry my eyes out.

Instead, Sarcasm's adviser, Ticked Off, pointed out that I was quite hungry. Apparently having your brain explode takes a lot of energy. My stomach growled to prove Ticked Off's point, and I sighed. Rationality meekly stepped forward in my mind and suggested checking my wallet to see if the Universe had bothered to exchange my money, how much I had, and how much that would translate to. That made sense, I supposed. Well, it _was_ Rationality talking.

No, I'm not schizophrenic at all. I'm just weird. Though, at this point, I was doubting myself.

I pulled off my backpack and unzipped the pocket inside the main compartment, where I kept my money and keys. My wallet did feel a little different—It kind of felt heavier. I pulled it out and looked inside.

The money was completely foreign to me. I could read it, at least, but it looked really weird. It was all different colors, like euros, but they all had the same face, a golden-haired, golden-eyed man. There was a little caption underneath that said, “The First Alchemist.” My eyes moved to the number in the corner and I almost dropped my wallet. My five dollar bill had turned into one for five _hundred_. And there were several other large bills in my wallet now, where there had only been up to 20s before, and maybe one hundred dollar bill. So, either this place had serious inflation problems, a weird money system with tiny units like Japan's, or the Universe was feeling generous today. I'd have to find out.

I had seen a bakery a few buildings back, so I turned around, gathered my luck, and walked inside. It was pretty empty, but I didn't even know what time it was. It might have been between meal rushes or something. The smells inside where heavenly, though. The scents inside the bakery were so wonderful, my brain almost stopped hurting. I looked at the display and studied the different pastries. Pretzels, 300 cenz. Apple pastries, 500 cenz. Almond cookies, three for 200 cenz. Horseshoe-shaped cookies covered in nuts were marked at 100 cenz. Little ball cookies rolled in cinnamon and powdered sugar were 50 cenz. Breads with all sorts of grains, nuts, and fruit took up an entire section. Giant cinnamon rolls the size of my head were 1000 cenz, with smaller ones for half the price. My mouth started watering and my brain compared the prices to what I would've paid in the bakery at home. The exchange rate seemed like one penny for a cenz, or something along those lines. I was quite relieved. I didn't want to owe the universe any favors.

Hoping the girl behind the counter spoke English, I approached her.

“Hi! Can I help you?” she greeted me in a high-pitched voice, sounding far too excited. Both Dictator Sarcasm and its adviser, Ticked Off, wanted to slap her, but Rationality pointed out that if I did, I wouldn't get one of those huge cinnamon rolls. That shut them up, and I was free to be relieved that I could at least understand her.

“Yeah,” I replied, scanning the displays again. “I'd like one of those big cinnamon rolls, and an apple pastry, and two pretzels,” I told her. My stomach rumbled in appreciation.

The girl nodded eagerly and asked, “Do you want to eat here, or later?” I shook my head. “That'll be 2,100 cenz, then!” she said, sounding extremely cheerleadery (because that's a word) as she packed the food into a bag.

At first, I paled at the large number, then reminded myself that the amount probably translated to about $21 back in Olympia, which was about the price of a meal that large at the bakery there. I pulled a couple bills out and handed them over. “Thanks,” I said to her.

“Thank you!” she replied, grinning and holding out the bag. Put my wallet back into my backpack and took it, eagerly taking out the cinnamon roll and biting into it.

It was the _most_ delicious thing that I had _ever_ tasted. _EVER._ It was like taking ice cream and adding taste sparkles and then turning it into a pastry. It was way better than the bakery back in Washington.

I walked out of the bakery and continued down the street, enjoying the piece of heaven far more than I probably should have under the circumstances. It didn't bother me quite so much that I had been kidnapped if I got these giant cinnamon rolls, delicious pretzels, and heavenly apple pastries. Of course, I was going to run out of money eventually... but I decided to worry about that once everything else hit me. Might as well take it all at once.

After I finished my food, which was surprisingly quick, I just continued to walk. I wasn't really paying attention now, just wandering around.

And then, the sun began to set. Oddly enough, it was then that it dawned on me.

I was in a different world.

I was not going back home.

This wasn't a dream.

As the realization hit me like a ten ton safe, I staggered over to the side of the road and collapsed on a bench.

And then, I cried. 


End file.
